Friday, November 19, 2010

Time for a Change

A few weekends ago, I went to New Jersey for some much-needed time with friends. It was amazing!
They are so much fun, and they really bent over backwards to accommodate my every whim. We went into NYC, but stayed out of Times Square, which was a specific request of mine. We had a fancy lunch in the city and walked around and looked at funky consignment shops in Greenwich Village, before taking the train home. We visited our old stomping grounds at Rutgers, and I was able to buy a million scarlet and black RU shirts/sweatshirts/license plate holders to last me until the next time I visit. We ate at Friendly's and a diner. We got our nails done and made-our-own sundaes. And best of all, I got to laugh and hang out with them, hug and hold their babies, and revel in the time with some of my oldest friends. It was a great time.
But...
I realized on my drive home from the airport
       that I was happy to come home
                                            anxious to leave NJ
                                                                 but most astonishingly.....
                                                                                                     I was
                                                                                                            in a terrible mood.

How dare I, right? I mean, they took time off of work, they drove me everywhere I wished. They treated me like a queen (and they would think nothing of it, I promise you! This is how they are for their friends!). But really, my bad attitude had nothing to do with my awesome friends, or the things we did while we were all together, because, like I said: It was amazing.


Last year, when I visited for a wedding, these were their stats:
Friend 1: Getting married, apartment, great job as lawyer, no kids
Friend 2: Newly Married, brand new house they are working on, finished grad. school/looking for job, no kids
Friend 3: Married for a couple of years, house for a couple of years, great job as accountant, no kids.

Here are the stats this year:
Friend 1: Newly married, new apartment, same great job as lawyer, no kids
Friend 2: Married for a couple of years, new house is finished, great new job as a communications director, brand new baby
Friend 3: Married for a couple of years, house with newly remodeled kitchen, same great job as accountant, brand new baby

These were my stats a year ago:
Single, same lovely house, same ... job, no kids

My stats this year:
Single, same lovely house, same ... job, no kids.

Look, it's not just that I wish I was married (I do), or that I wish I had a brand new baby (I do), or that I wish I had a more awesome job (I do). It's all of that, together. 
So I'm working on things, because nothing will get better just by me sitting and wishing it. I'm pretty optimistic about things, and I'm hoping that when I visit again in a year, I'll have more new things to share with them.
(well, yeesh! I was optimistic, before I wrote out this post and saw it all in print!)

4 comments:

  1. Ok, get yourself over to http://www.bravegirlsclub.com/ right now! Sign up for the daily truth that is in the right sidebar. Seriously. There are some things in my life that I haven't done ... like going to college, taking more art classes, actually believing that I can be licensed to help people through their difficult times ... and I have to make these changes too. (getting ready to write a blog post about a weird thing that happened that is just confirming that) Those daily truths from Brave Girls have been encouraging me and challenging me.

    I am taking the Soul Restoration workshop on January. It's time.

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  2. God has His ways of encouraging us to change, as we would have liked for everything to be laid out already on the path before us. It's part of the excitement of the Christian walk and attitude of joyful expectency. Good things are coming for you!

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  3. Thanks, Cindy- I'm getting myself over there right NOW! :)
    And thanks, Mom -- you are always a great source of encouragement to me!!

    Changes are good, and I seriously was feeling great about it (despite the crappy feelings that lead up to me realizing I needed a change), but then... I listed all this stuff out and that was kind of a downer. But I'm good again! I promise!! And I really really really appreciate the wonderful people in my life that give me good words when I need them.

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  4. I feel ya girl....I feel ya.
    I struggle with the same exact thing. It seems like everyone around me have exciting things happening in their lives and my life is at a stand still. I have started focusing on what I do have and not what I don't have. Which is really hard because the things I don't have, I WANT. I am just trying to "reframe"--work on bettering myself but appreciating the great things I do have going on in my life!

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