Wednesday, December 22, 2010

'Tis the Season...

Is there anything worse?
Is there anything worse than Ralphie standing in line forever, just to see Santa and tell him (because Santa will understand!) that he wants an
Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle for Christmas, but when Ralphie finally gets up there to Santa, he can't get the words out -- because it's Santa! --
and then, just as he's about to go down the slide, he remembers his wish and he opens his mouth, and after having everyone in the world tell him that he can't get his beloved BB gun because he'll shoot his eye out, he tells Santa

and what does Santa say?
"You'll shoot your eye out, kid!" with a boot! to the face! that sends Ralphie spiraling down the slide.
So what could be worse?
Maybe, if you're six, and you've never heard of A Christmas Story, let alone watched it, and you inexplicably put BB Gun on your Christmas list, and your aunt finds it (your super cool, super with-it aunt who spoils you rotten and only demands hugs in return), and she laughs and shows the list to your mother, and the two of them hunt you down and find you just to laugh some more and say together, "You'll shoot your eye out, kid!" (which, again, means nothing to you because you have never seen the movie).

That might be worse.

Merry Christmas, nephew. You're not getting a BB gun. You'll shoot your eye out, Kid.

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