The Alternative: Horse and Buggy

I shouldn't even write about this, since I'm about 1/10 of the way to deciding to become Amish anyway. I mean ... there are seriously a lot of things that attract me to the lifestyle that I can't even get into now. On to the purpose of this post:

Car accidents drive me crazy.


I was in a (very small) accident about a year ago, and it was one of the most traumatizing things in my life. It was not the first accident I've been in, nor was it the worst as far as physical damage goes, but emotionally - it was tough. First, because the person who hit me just drove away. So here I was, dealing with consequences all on my own, wondering why... why would someone drive away? What had they been doing? Why me and my car?
I mean, my car is no jewel to begin with. But now, it's smashed in one side, the tires are awful, and yes, it has stayed that way. I don't have the money to repair it (it's not worth the repairs), and my insurance company totaled the car. So for the past year I've struggled with my vanity and drove around my less-than-cute car. And I learned a lot of lessons along the way.
I am incredibly thankful that no one (I suspect ... I mean, the person who drove away didn't seem so hurt) was hurt in the accident. My car was still drive-able, and has been for a year while I save my money for a new car. There's so many blessings to consider in this case, and I remind myself of them often, because I can often find myself sinking into the whole "I feel so sorry for me!" attitude, which is pathetic.
Which brings me to my next point:

Why are there so many car accidents?

I know, I know. There used to be horse accidents, and now there are car accidents, and at some future point it will be hovercraft accidents or whatever. But I hate them. I really really hate them. Deaths that result from car accidents are the ones that I really feel like the people were stolen from me. I don't know how to explain that, since no death is good, but that's just how I feel.

In conclusion: Use horses, not cars.

O Captain! My Captain!

Once upon a time, I was in college and worked for the college newspaper. I was assigned to write an article on a Captain in the Air Force ROTC, who had won an essay-writing contest. I interviewed him and wrote the article. His name was... well, let's call him Roy Robin, and he was the nicest man. The article appeared, and he thanked me with a note and a gift card so me and my roommate could go out to dinner.
Then, an Air Force ROTC class was offered to non-ROTC students. I took it, and Captain Roy Robin was the professor. I was immediately the teacher's pet. It was wonderful. I basically fell in love with him, even though he was married with four small children. Don't worry – nothing inappropriate happened. I had a boyfriend (who also took the class and SERIOUSLY tried to ride my coattails on the teacher's pet thing), and Captain Roy Robin was quite the family man. But, like I said, I was teacher's pet.
We had to go to Captain Roy Robin's office to pick up our textbooks. Unbeknownst to me, my boyfriend at the time had gone to get mine (and, not actually to be nice, but to prove to Captain Roy Robin that he knew me). I was preparing myself to go to my captain's office, by reading Walt Whitman's O Captain! My Captain! (which doesn't even make sense in this situation, but it didn't matter to me).
Trish, my awesome college roommate, was at that time harvesting her own unrequited love for a professor of hers (look, it just makes class more interesting, okay?), and suggested that before I go to office hours, I:
* Drink 2 shots of vodka
* Memorize the poem so I can recite it to him
Hmmmmm.
Maybe I should explain something about Trish. She:
* Went to her love's office hours, after...
* Drinking 2 shots of vodka. Then she...
* Asked him many questions about his personal life, including where he lived, so that later she could....
* Drive to the town he lived in (IN A DIFFERENT STATE) and see his house. All of this is true and happened.
So, yeah. I didn't drink the 2 shots of vodka. In fact, I never went to his office, because, like I said, my boyfriend had already gotten my book. I wonder where Captain Roy Robin is today....

Jersey Girl, forever and always

I lived in New Jersey for the first 24 years of my life, and I will always consider Jersey my home. I stayed in New Jersey for college and my heart takes flight when I see my alma mater's colors or hear the fight song (RU! rah! rah!). I plan on living in South Carolina for a loooong time - perhaps for the rest of my life - but I'll always be a Jersey girl at heart.
Here are some of the wonderful things I love about my home state:
• Quick access to two of the greatest cities in the nation. Of course, I grew up closer to New York City, and I'm quick to tell people that I think NYC is the greatest city in the world. But Philly has its wonderful attributes, too. Both cities are full of culture and history and there's no pizza like a delicious, thincrust NYC pizza made by real Italians, and definitely no cheesesteak like a greasy Philly cheesesteak that you had to stand in line outside to wait for.
• Did I mention how much I love NYC? The museums, restaurants, THEATER - it's just amazing. I completely took the city for granted when I was growing up. We were always taking field trips to see Broadway plays, or taking our annual Morrison family Christmas trek into Manhattan to look at the display windows and lights. How wonderful!
• My fun and loving extended family still lives in New Jersey, so there's definitely a piece of my heart that's still there. It's not really going home, unless there's family there to greet you, right?
• My friends are there. All of my best girlfriends from college are still in New Jersey. That's actually the reason I'm headed north this weekend - my BFF Trishann is getting married! Yay, Trish! I've been lucky enough to visit about once a year for weddings and other celebrations since I moved to SC. This is the last wedding, but I won't let that stop me from visiting; I'll just have to find another excuse.
• Rutgers! Again, I spent 4 blissful years at Rutgers University in New Brunswick, NJ. I loved every second of it. I met the most wonderful people in my life; I worked at The Daily Targum, honing my skills as a blossoming journalist; I lived on my own for the first time. It was the most amazing college experience. It was also great that I was just 45 minutes from home, so I could go home for a weekend if I so chose. And yes, I still cheer for the Scarlet Knights. One of these days, the cheering will pay off!
• NJ - The Garden State. I don't really know where everyone gets their bad impression of New Jersey, but I have a sneaking suspicion it's a sad road commonly called the Turnpike. I-95 is not a nice place ANYWHERE, but in NJ it's kind of... stinky. But remember - New Jersey's nickname is the Garden State for a reason! There are beautiful sprawling parks and gardens all over the state. And even though it's not the nicest area, whenever I land in Newark, I take a deep breath and I LOVE the Jersey air that fills my lungs. Yes, it smells good to me.
• Memories... I have all of these amazing memories of growing up in wonderful New Jersey. My parents lived there and they have stories that I love to listen to. I think about when me and my sister and brother were all kids and we played in the backyard or would swing on the vines down the street. It probably sounds idyllic (as all childhood memories should, right?) but I just loved my childhood, and the setting played a big role in that.

So I'll head up north to New Jersey this weekend, take in a deep breath of that New Jersey air when I step off the plane at Newark, and I'll rush to embrace my friends. Hello, New Jersey!

A boy named Daniel-san

In 1984, my world changed forever, and I didn't even know it at the time. That was the year that the remarkable, energetic and comedic movie The Karate Kid was released. If you know me at all, you know that I am a huge fan of the Karate Kid franchise (excluding the travesty that is The Next Karate Kid), and of both Ralph Macchio and Pat Morita.
I find The Karate Kid to be one of the greatest movies ever made. Let's examine the story of The Karate Kid and thereby examine my love for a boy named Daniel-san.
Daniel moves from New Jersey to California, and is bulled by *believable* kids in his new school. He meets a nice girl who is cool in her own right, and meets the eccentric Mr. Miyagi, who ends up teaching Daniel the karate skills he needs to hold his own against Johnny. This all culminates in an awesome karate tournament that just gets me every time.
Ralph Macchio, who was NOT a child but looked like one at the time of filming, is originally from Long Island, so his NJ accent was not only believable, but correct (fake Jersey accents, or - even worse - Brooklyn accents on characters who are supposed to be from NJ, are one of my stronger pet peeves).
The characters in this movie were not too caricature-ish, as they so often are in movies today (or ... the aforementioned The Next Karate Kid). And the people that played children actually LOOKED like children. Daniel's mom acted like a mom. Mr. Miyagi was also a very believable character and the way Daniel ended up in his tutelage did not seem contrived, but it flowed with the story.
Finally, this movie left us with a plethora of catchphrases. There's always the ubiquitous "Wax on, wax off" but there's also "Sweep the leg, Johnny" (which, I think replaces "Nobody puts Baby in a corner" as my favorite movie line).
One more thing, William Zabka who played Johnny Lawrence in The Karate Kid, and who I'm convinced is one of the coolest people ever, wrote, directed and starred in this video for the No More Kings song "Sweep the Leg, Johnny". You'll see cameos by almost all of The Karate Kid stars. Awesome.

First Love, oh so hard to forget

My first love was this wonderful, awesome, adventurous ... car that I call KITT. KITT was a car that I bought when I turned 17. She was a black Nissan 240sx with flip up headlights and a spoiler. She cemented my love of Nissans forever. When I was 21, I rear-ended a Corvette, totalling my car.
First cars are a little bit like first loves, in a way. I have only fond memories about KITT, and I have fond memories of my first (human) love. I prefer to remember only the good times. I block out all memories of expensive repairs (Nissan parts are expensive!). And, most importantly, even though I bask in the nostalgia of my Nissan, there's a part of me that knows that the past is just the past, and I wouldn't want to still be driving that old Nissan. I'm a completely different person now. I want a NEW Nissan :)

Have a hot dog. Just not that one.

One of Jennie’s favorite stories about my family is the hot dog story. Here’s some background: My father loves hot dogs. He has one every day for lunch. It’s, like, the best food in the world to him, somehow. I don’t eat hot dogs very much. Probably just a handful of times a year. Anyway, one day, when I was at my parent’s house, I got a hankering for a hot dog.
I went to the fridge, and yes, it was like the Promised Land of pork products: every kind of hot dog you can imagine. I just grabbed the first one I saw, and threw it in the microwave. When it was cooked, I took it out and looked at it. I showed it to my dad. “Is this cooked enough?” I asked him. Keen eye for hot dogs that he has, he noticed a problem right away. Here’s the conversation that followed.
Dad: That’s not the right hot dog.
Me: Huh?
Dad: That’s the wrong hot dog.
Me: What are you talking about?
Dad: That’s not for you. That’s for the dog. Those are not the hot dogs we buy for people!

A few things you need to know.
1. My parents don’t have a dog.
2. But they have hot dogs for “the dog”.
3. I am not allowed to eat those hot dogs. (And, according to my father, I wouldn’t want to eat those hot dogs – they’re the cheap kind. I need the Ball Park hot dogs – the ones for the humans).
I’m pretty sure that they’re talking about my sister’s dog when they say “That’s for the dog”, but … Roxi isn’t allowed in their house, so I can’t be sure. Either way, there are special hot dogs in my parents’ house for a dog they don’t have. And, please, don’t try to eat them. They’re for the dog!

The Murtaugh List

I’ve been inspired by the latest episode of How I Met Your Mother to create my own Murtaugh List of things I am too old for. Now, I know that a lot of people like to think that we’re only as old as we feel, and that’s true to a certain extent, but these are the things I’m just not feelin’ anymore.
I am too old for:
• staying up mad late without sleeping in.
• wearing a high-cut skirt with a low-cut shirt. There’s a thin line here. Because most people are either too old or too young for this. Prostitutes, though; they’re fine with this ensemble at any age.
• drinking more than 3 beers within a 24-hour period.
• playing a computer game for more than a half hour at a time.
• eating a lot of candy/chocolate instead of a meal. i.e. M&Ms for dinner. Too old.
• letting myself get “bullied” into anything. Not only am I too old to do something I don’t want to do, but life’s too short.
• acting stupid in front of strangers. I think I do this a decent amount by accident, though ☺
I guess that’s about it. Suggestions?

Getting Ready for the Winter Olympics

A long time ago, back when Anjajog (Jog, for short) worked with Jennie and me, Jog and I had these amazing and brilliant conversations about literature, current events and history. Brilliant, I tell you! In one of these (brilliant) conversations, Jog told me about her plan to train and try out for the Olympics in one of the following categories:
•Canoeing, •Archery, •Synchronized Swimming, •Table Tennis, •Water Polo, •Submachine Gun Competition, •Cowboy Action Shooting, •Badminton, •Wheel Chair Racing
I was enthusiastic, to say the least. I mean, Submachine Gun Competition? Well, I’m against that one, being a hippie and all. Here are the things that Jog would not do well in:
Table Tennis – those guys are hard core. It’s like we’re watching it on fast forward!
Water Polo – too dangerous. See the famous Blood in the Water controversy. Also, just read about that controversy – it’s awesome.
Canoeing – Jog would get lost and go over a waterfall, which I illustrated to her in a Graffiti message on Facebook. Nothing against her or her sense of direction. It’s just how it would go down.
Submachine Gun Competition – the description says it all. Jog and/or spectators would be seriously maimed (at least!).
And we both decided that Jog is cooler than Badminton, so that’s out.
She probably wouldn’t be allowed to participate in the Wheel Chair Racing one, but even if she could, Jog would have no chance against people that …actually use a wheel chair (no offense, Jog).
So that leaves… what? Synchronized Swimming and Cowboy Action Shooting? Well, duh. Cowboy Action Shooting, it is.
Seeing this list of events leads me to this question: Why isn’t Cowboy Action Shooting televised?