Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Getting Ready for the Winter Olympics

A long time ago, back when Anjajog (Jog, for short) worked with Jennie and me, Jog and I had these amazing and brilliant conversations about literature, current events and history. Brilliant, I tell you! In one of these (brilliant) conversations, Jog told me about her plan to train and try out for the Olympics in one of the following categories:
•Canoeing, •Archery, •Synchronized Swimming, •Table Tennis, •Water Polo, •Submachine Gun Competition, •Cowboy Action Shooting, •Badminton, •Wheel Chair Racing
I was enthusiastic, to say the least. I mean, Submachine Gun Competition? Well, I’m against that one, being a hippie and all. Here are the things that Jog would not do well in:
Table Tennis – those guys are hard core. It’s like we’re watching it on fast forward!
Water Polo – too dangerous. See the famous Blood in the Water controversy. Also, just read about that controversy – it’s awesome.
Canoeing – Jog would get lost and go over a waterfall, which I illustrated to her in a Graffiti message on Facebook. Nothing against her or her sense of direction. It’s just how it would go down.
Submachine Gun Competition – the description says it all. Jog and/or spectators would be seriously maimed (at least!).
And we both decided that Jog is cooler than Badminton, so that’s out.
She probably wouldn’t be allowed to participate in the Wheel Chair Racing one, but even if she could, Jog would have no chance against people that …actually use a wheel chair (no offense, Jog).
So that leaves… what? Synchronized Swimming and Cowboy Action Shooting? Well, duh. Cowboy Action Shooting, it is.
Seeing this list of events leads me to this question: Why isn’t Cowboy Action Shooting televised?


  1. I have been practicing my cowboy action shooting! It is going well. I am little worried though ... I don't have any sort of mentor to help me learn cowboy action shooting, so, while flying blind I figured that it had to include chaps, a ten gallon hat and lots of cowhide. So, I get a lot of stares while practicing. I practice in the park, people get sort of upset about it. I don't shoot toward the playground but they are so mean! I don't know what there issue is. The city provides practice areas for basketball, tennis, soccer, etc. and I demand equal rights under the law.

    I will let you know when I qualify for 2010, it would mean a lot to me if you guys were there. Party London style!

  2. well, at least it's Cowboy Action Shooting and not Submachine Gun that you're practicing. You know what I left off this list? Artistic Gymnastics.
    You would be amazing at that. Seriously. You could probably still incorporate the chaps and ten gallon hat!