Monday, August 31, 2009

O Captain! My Captain!

Once upon a time, I was in college and worked for the college newspaper. I was assigned to write an article on a Captain in the Air Force ROTC, who had won an essay-writing contest. I interviewed him and wrote the article. His name was... well, let's call him Roy Robin, and he was the nicest man. The article appeared, and he thanked me with a note and a gift card so me and my roommate could go out to dinner.
Then, an Air Force ROTC class was offered to non-ROTC students. I took it, and Captain Roy Robin was the professor. I was immediately the teacher's pet. It was wonderful. I basically fell in love with him, even though he was married with four small children. Don't worry – nothing inappropriate happened. I had a boyfriend (who also took the class and SERIOUSLY tried to ride my coattails on the teacher's pet thing), and Captain Roy Robin was quite the family man. But, like I said, I was teacher's pet.
We had to go to Captain Roy Robin's office to pick up our textbooks. Unbeknownst to me, my boyfriend at the time had gone to get mine (and, not actually to be nice, but to prove to Captain Roy Robin that he knew me). I was preparing myself to go to my captain's office, by reading Walt Whitman's O Captain! My Captain! (which doesn't even make sense in this situation, but it didn't matter to me).
Trish, my awesome college roommate, was at that time harvesting her own unrequited love for a professor of hers (look, it just makes class more interesting, okay?), and suggested that before I go to office hours, I:
* Drink 2 shots of vodka
* Memorize the poem so I can recite it to him
Maybe I should explain something about Trish. She:
* Went to her love's office hours, after...
* Drinking 2 shots of vodka. Then she...
* Asked him many questions about his personal life, including where he lived, so that later she could....
* Drive to the town he lived in (IN A DIFFERENT STATE) and see his house. All of this is true and happened.
So, yeah. I didn't drink the 2 shots of vodka. In fact, I never went to his office, because, like I said, my boyfriend had already gotten my book. I wonder where Captain Roy Robin is today....


  1. I love this story. Always. The end.

  2. Talking to a student who DID drink 2 shots of vodka...